White Wine
by LLmeantb
Summary: [LL] Two to three weeks after „Say Something“, Lorelai creates her own world, while Luke watches TV.


Summary: Three weeks after Say Something, Lorelai creates her own world, while Luke watches TV.

Disclaimer: Sad but true: I do not own the GG. They belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino (alias GOD) and the WB.

**A/N:** This is my second try with this fic. I changed the first chapter quite a bit, and as you may remember, I never got further than posting the first chapter... But this time, I see a light at the end of the tunnel: I already wrote the second and propably last chapter! So if you´re so kind to give this fic a chance, you won´t have to wait 6 months for the next chapter, even though you will propably have to wait for it a couple of days, coz I´m planning on posting it tomorrow and I´m sure, I´ll hate it tomorrow and have to change it... Anyway, chances are that you will get to read a second chapter! HOW DOES THAT SOUND, NOW? (Sorry, I´m very unreliable, but I really will try!)

**A/N 2 (aka. "The important A/N"): The writing style I´m trying out here is very unusual for fanfics. It is usual though for modern novelists like Grass, and this fic is basically me trying something new, so please tell me, if you liked/didn´t like it.**

Also: This is **LL** and it´s set about two or three weeks after "Say something". It´s more about impressions than storyline and deals mainly with feeling and memories.

En plus: I had some proplems with the apostrophes, I hope you´ll see them...

Ausserdem: English is not my first language, this chapter is not betaed and please don´t hate me for all those numerous grammar and spelling and "whatever other mistakes you can make" mistakes!

Oy, with my fic already...:

I hate the hiatus

**----------------------**

Story: **White Wine**

**-----------------------  
**

Chapter one: Lorelai pining...?  


Lorelai was sitting on the bench on her porch holding a glass of white wine in her hand. Every now and then she took a small sip of it, letting the full taste evolve in her mouth. Trying to taste as much as she could.

Why? Because it tasted like him.

Over the past couple of weeks she had lost her famous glow. It had been replaced by a look of pain and hurt that she couldn´t hide, as hard as she tried. People who knew her saw it and those who didn´t know her felt it. And therefore all the looks she received were looks full of pity. She couldn´t stand it. It made her feel even smaller and weaker than she already felt.

She felt empty where ever she was. As empty as the box she had tried to fill about an hour before. She had given up when she realized that she was about to cry again. She was sick of crying and she felt sick of her house. That´s why she sat on her porch.

Some might worry about her now, because drinking alcohol all by yourself could mean, well something. It could become a habit. It could become an addiction… But this is different. No, really! It is! Maybe I should explain why that is:

Lorelai decided to deal with her pain in a new way. She had tried her usual routine: the junkfood, the movies, the making a box.

But it didn´t work. She couldn´t get over him and she didn´t want to get over him. She didnt want to make a stupid box. She wanted him back, but after the "answering machine-incident" as she liked to call it, contacting him was totally out of the question. And somewhere between realising that he might just not come back if she didnt allow him his much needed "time", and frantically trying to tell herself that she was and had always been a very independent woman and therefore didn´t need him, she decided to wait, just like he had. Because accepting any kind of loss that wasn´t just for the time being would break her. It would break her in a way that chinese vase had broken when she had accidentally touched it with her elbow when she was seven. She could still see herself turning to watch it falling in slow motion, barely touching the marble ground before it burst into a thousand pieces of white porcelain. And boy had that made a mess. And jeez had her mom given her a hard time... Until she got pregnant. That kind of put the spotlight on other things...

Emily.

No. She couldn´t think about that. The wounds her mother had caused her were bleeding. They were fresh, too fresh. And Lorelai knew that if she started thinking about what Emily had done this time, she would burst.

She remembered about a week ago, she had gotten the first portcard. The flashbacks had made her nauseous. The thought of her mother enjoying her time, not bothering about how much pain she caused her only child, the only person besides her husband and her grandchild she should love more than her own live, had made her run to the toilet.

How could she do this to her? Why didn´t she love her at least the teeniest tiny little bit?

Sitting on the ground next to the toilett, had been the last time she really cried. And boy had she cried. But afterwards, when she had run out of tears, which had lately happened to her regularly, she decided, that this had to stop. Of course she couldn´t hold back the tears whenever she saw the flannel that hung over the chair in her room, the one she just couldn´t move, orwas somehow reminded of his constancy in her house, her home. But since than, whenever she felt her eyes welling up, she didn´t break down, she just let them flow down her cheeks and after the inicial shock, wipe them away angrily.

_Strong, independent woman! Hell, I raised a kid on my own! _

Her life had changed.

_Lorelai was sitting on the bench on her porch holding a glass of white wine in her hand. Every now and then she took a small sip of it, trying to taste as much as she could. Why? Because it tasted like him. _

An empty smile crept across her face. Her life as a movie.

_And somewhere between realising that he might just not come back if she didnt allow him his much needed "time", and frantically trying to tell herself that she was and had always been a very independent woman and therefore didn´t need him, she decided to wait, just like he had._

_(Just like she had, too.) _

And she decided to dream. She decided to make up her own world. Her own universe, where he was still with her. Where no one had the power to split them apart. And white wine was one of the things she needed to open the gates to her new wold. Because it smelled like him. It tasted like him and it gave her a warm feeling inside: it made her feel slightly like her had made her feel.

Yes she was pining, you could maybe even call her behaviour stalking. But seriously, who the hell cares? What is there to care about anyway. It´s none of anyones damn business! Leave her alone! She needs this! It´s the only way she can deal with her life right now.

But on the other hand it´s killing her. Slowly and painfully. Because she can´t but wish to just smell his scent one more time, taste him one more time. _Just one more time! Please! I´ll give you anything. You can have the house, the car, the inn. Hell! Even my inn! Say something! Anything. Even if its a no. Just break the silence, it hurts. It´s killing me. Who am I talking to anyway? Tell me who you are. Or leave it, I don´t care but maybe, just tell me this one thing. Is he ever going to come back? Because you know, I thought he was "it". You know, the whole package._

_Okay fine then. Dont answer me. Im just gonna go back to my own world again. At least I can still imagine him being with me._

Wow! You just met Lorelai for the first time in person. Youve been watching her for years now but what just happened was her being able to see you, well, feel your presence. Im sorry that I couldnt let you talk to her. I know you wanted to talk some sense into her, but thats against the rules. And also, be honest: Dont you think the two of them should solve their problems without anyone interfering? I think they had enough of that already. They need to work on their relationship themselves.

Still, youre kind of startled, right? You didn´t expect her to yell. But she really is miserable.

I mean how could she not be. Dumped by a guy like Luke... He´s a keeper. And let me tell ya, he is hot! But youve seen him before. That grumpy diner owner. Yeah the one youve been wanting to see shirtless for years. And then, one day you didnt just get shirtless-Luke, no! You got hipbone-Luke! Oh I know exactly how you felt coz, let me tell ya, I felt the same way sister! It´s a shame he´s hers, but on the other hand, they deserve eachother. They´ve been waiting for each other even longer than we have. We only got to know them when they had already developed that flirty-banter.

And now they screwed up. Both of them and we´re mad at them for doing so. But were also devastated. And when we really think about it, we don´t want him for ourselves anymore. We want him to be with her. We want to see her smile again because we are her friends. And we want him to be able to glare at her again, because we like him. I know, we aren´t exactly friends with him, because he hardly ever opens up to anyone. But we´ve all had our special Luke-moments that made us grow close to him. And with Luke, some rare moments really are something and we feel honored that he shared those moments with us.

_Oh Luke, youre her Mr. Fix-it! Get over it and fix this already! It´s stupid. You both want eachother, why waste time apart?_

No, dont bother. He can´t hear you. Cant you see hes watching tv…?

**--------------------------------------**

I still hate the hiatus

So did you like it? Do you hate my style/storyline/characterization/...? I really wanna know how you feel!


End file.
